Are you having challenges or difficulties with anyone in your life, especially someone you live with? You may want to try this technique I learnt years ago which works, if done properly, without fail.
Think of someone you are struggling with and then come up with 10 things you love about them. If you can’t think of 10, then come up with 3, if you can’t think of 3 then come up with 1.
If it is someone you share a house with, then tell them what these things are. Make sure it is in a very real and honest way, not a back-handed compliment or sarcastic.
Not, I love it when you unload the dishwasher (because you so rarely do) or I love when you pick up your wet towel from the bathroom floor (rather than leave it on my bed).
These things you love might be their characteristics, noticing when you think they look well, or activities they perform.
I love it when you cook dinner for us all. I love your generosity. I love the way you talk sweetly to the dog. I love you sorting out the washing. I love you going to the gym and looking after your health and well-being. I love it when you listen to me when I’m upset. I love having you around as a companion. I love your sense of humour.
You will generally find that this becomes a two-way street. Don’t expect anything in return, but you will probably receive loving words back.
If it is someone more peripheral in your life – a manager, a neighbour, an acquaintance – you may not wish to tell this person when you are focusing on their positive points (as it could imply that you are finding them difficult). But do practise this even more for people you are finding challenging that you must interact with. You may wish to change the wording from “What I love about you” to “What I like or appreciate or admire about you”
Do this regularly even if you aren’t having challenges with anyone in your life and watch your relationships improve as you do.